Safety Tips

We employ a number of scam checks in an attempt to keep out the unsavory. Even so, a bad apple can slip through our net. We've compiled some tips to keep you scam-free.

If you suspect fraud, please contact us via the Report Abuse button on your Mailbox page or via our Help Desk.

Scamming Overview

The end game for scammers is to steal your money, not your heart, by either:

  • Convincing you to give them money (because they've fallen in love with you, even though you two have never met), or
  • Identity Theft: Attempting to collect personal/financial information from you so that they can siphon off your bank account.

Do they look honest? Scammers use fake photos (taken from other sites), fake addresses, fake everything.

Don't disclose personal details too soon

  • Don't disclose your internet (off-site) e-mail address or telephone number until you've become comfortable with your new friend. Keep all communication within until you've arranged a meeting.
  • Don't disclose your home address until you've met in person (in a public place such as Starbucks). Even then, be cautious about such disclosure.

Keep Communication On-Site

Keep communication on-site on

— Why On-site Communication is Best —

  1. Your messages will be better organized into correspondence.
  2. on-site e-mails are 100% reliably delivered and delivered instantly. Internet e-mails are subject to false-positive spam blocking, delayed delivery, failed delivery, and e-mail loss.
  3. You can quickly view the sender's profile (photo/details) to remind yourself who you're conversing with.
  4. Want to safely text/phone/video chat? See our new Chat System.
  5. You can save Diary notes about the member.
  6. You can block annoying members via the 🚫 block button.
  7. You can monitor member reviews (good and bad!) if you communicate on-site.
  8. We can monitor the originating country of on-site correspondence so we can catch fakers quickly.
  9. If a member you're corresponding with is removed for fraud, you'll know quickly if you're corresponding on-site.
  10. In the event that you wish to report a member, on-site e-mails provide us with evidence. We need evidence to take action. We cannot rely on off-site e-mails (messages outside of because such correspondence is not verifiable.
    Scammers often try to take their conversation off-site (e-mail / texting) to avoid being tracked. They know that the site cannot take action without verifiable evidence (on-site e-mails). Beware of members pressuring you to taking your conversation off-site! On-site communication is safer.

Popular Scams

  • My daddy was assassinated and left me 20 million dollars. I need you, someone I've never met, to help me transfer this money to a different bank account and I'll promise you 20%.
    You'll be asked for your bank account details and possibly bribe money. Then your bank account will be drained.
  • I urgently need money because {place heart-wrenching story here}. I have no one else in the world to turn to but you, a complete stranger whom I've never met.
    The implausible usually is. If they start asking for money, run in the other direction.
  • I volunteer at an orphanage in Africa and the orphanage desperately needs money. We have no where to turn except to you, someone I've never met. Can you help? "It's not for me, it's for the children."
    A popular scam. If they start asking for money, run in the other direction.
  • Can you cash $1000 in US travelers checks for me because I can't cash them in my country and just send me back $800? Keep $200 for your troubles.
    The travelers checks will be fake. Your bank will invalidate the entire deposit (including the $200), and you'll be out $800 of your own money that you sent, with no legal recourse. You could also end up being fined or even jailed for passing fraudulent travelers checks.

Popular Scammer "Fake" Occupations

A scammer will manufacture a fake occupation; one that makes it difficult or impossible for you to meet in person or even have a video chat. Common fake occupations:

Men:Off-shore Oil Rig Worker, Military stationed overseas, consultant for an international organization
Women:Works at an orphanage in Africa, Military stationed overseas, consultant for an international organization

Major Red Flags

  • You've corresponded a few times but certain information seems to change, such as where they live, their age, or their occupation.
  • They claim to be well educated, yet their grammar/spelling is atrocious! Often some sentences are perfect while others are ridiculous.
  • Direct questions remain unanswered, and you feel you're getting "canned" responses, often telling you what a wonderful unique person you are.
  • They are insistent about switching correspondence to their off-site e-mail address or other platform rather than staying on (We can only verify scam reports from on-line correspondence. Please keep your correspondence on
  • The other party mentions that they are currently out of the country for an extended period.
  • They ask for, or hint, for money.
    Never give money or financial information to a member you've never met!
  • They have little or no formal bodywork training, yet they've checked many/all bodywork devices in their My Practice / My Bodywork Equipment section.
  • They have little or no formal bodywork training, yet they've checked a large number of modalities in their Bodywork Background section.
  • They list an astronomical number of formal training hours in their Bodywork Background section. (As a guideline, a typical bodywork degree is anywhere from 100-2200 hours. Some take supplemental/specialty classes, but beyond 3000 hours deserves questioning.)

Connecting Tips

  • Go Slow
    Get to know someone on-line via several exchanges before you make any commitments to meet.
  • Don't reveal Personal Information
    Don't disclose your last name, phone number, physical address, or other personal information until you've met and established a trusting relationship.
  • Meet in a known public place
    If you both decide to meet, make it a well known public location ( such as Starbucks, Peets, ... ). A location you know nothing about might be in a poor/dangerous neighborhood and should be avoided.

Other Resources

More excellent articles (click to read):